Akhilandeshwari

Lately, I have found myself once again fascinated by the goddess Akhilandeshwari. She is the goddess who is never not broken. She rides on the back of a crocodile. She is the goddess attuned to change, flow and spin. Rather than being deterred by challenge, she pulls her strength from being broken, always broken. She’s a total badass, if you ask me. Think about it, how much courage does it take to choose not to glue one’s self back together? How much courage does it take to step onto the back of a dinosaur-like creature with fearsome teeth, supreme speed and intense strength? Like Kali, Akhilandeshwari is a goddess in touch with destruction, however, instead of leveling everyone and everything, she yields to destruction. She melts into it, embracing the breakage.

I have an intense love for spirals and circles. Akhilandeshwari survives on spirals. The spinning is what holds together all the broken pieces without glue. The Earth spins on its axis, with a wobble. As does this goddess. As can we. We can keep going on, round and round, embracing the wobble. A crocodile does not kill by its bite. It goes into a death spin, twirling its prey in the water until it breaks. So much power in turning.

The last time I found this goddess, I felt very broken. I had lost my first real love. I was crying all the time. Weeping with no provocation, tears dripping onto my mat in down dog. This time she has found me when I am in a state of renewal. Things seem really good right now. I see so much hope and fresh starts. I’m terrified that the things I really want won’t work out. So I am trying to embrace the spin, the flow. It is time to ride the crocodile into the flow of the river, let myself dissolve into the water, knowing that my bits and pieces are still me, even if the form isn’t what I expect it to be. It seems to me that one of the most powerful things one can do is realize that our identities and lives are not one specific thing. Change is always happening. Change, grief, breaking are all necessary and positive.

Artists are often finding beauty where one doesn’t expect it. Why not find beauty in breakage? When researching Akhilandeshwari, one finds she is compared to a prism. The crystal’s beauty comes from the breaking of the surface. The rainbows that are splashed across the wall are the direct result of light traveling through fractured parts. If the prism were completely smooth, unbroken, all we would get would be plain light passing through, instead, the breaks allow us to see, with the naked eye, the different colors that are contained within white light.

So this is what I am working on right now. Finding beauty in the breakage. Dissolving and flowing, rather than resisting. I am working on being a badass who wouldn't be afraid to ride the back of a crocodile. 



"Goddess Never-Not-Broken: Symbols and Surprises * Wicca-Spirituality.com." Goddess Never-Not-Broken: Symbols and Surprises * Wicca-Spirituality.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 03 Mar. 2015.
Peters, Julie. "Why Lying Broken in a Pile on Your Bedroom Floor Is a Good Idea. ~ Julie (JC) Peters." Elephant Journal. N.p., 1 June 2011. Web. 02 Mar. 2015.
Stoneberg, Eric. "Akhilandeshwari, an Invitation to Srividyalaya." Eric Stoneberg. N.p., 13 Jan. 2011. Web. 02 Mar. 2015.